Big Island Men’s Retreat

I was 20 years old, sitting on the couch while taking a break at work, feeling my consistent and excruciating back pain, and thinking to myself, “I’m 20 years old and I feel like a broken down 60 year old! This ain’t right. I need to fix this. Something needs to change.” I had been training Jiu Jitsu for a couple years and thought, “I’ve seen the image of martial artists meditating. What’s this meditation thing about?” “Professional fighters have nutritionists that help them know what to eat in order to optimize their health and performance. I don’t have the money to hire a nutritionist, so I’d better become my own!” I remember this day vividly, and I made some drastic shifts from there on out. Between the ages of 13-21 it felt like I had drank enough for a lifetime. I was living in a very unhealthy way eating fast food every day, tons of soda and junk food, tv, videos games, and experienced emotional and mental turmoil that I was distracting myself from. In the time that I was in high school opiates became more popular and easily accessible. I loved percoset because it numbed me out to feeling anything physically and emotionally. Some people felt nauseous when taking these pain killers, but the “problem” for me was that they agreed with my system. I felt great! I felt relaxed, talkative, blissful, and most importantly free of pain. Opiates were a great drug of choice for the school day that I felt forced to endure. Unlike weed or alcohol, all I had to do was take a couple pills and there was no smell or any discernible way for teachers to tell I was high. I popped a couple pills and felt great for the next 4 or 5 hours. On the weekends an 18 pack of beer and 4 percosets made for an awesome night. Great to my young mind in the moment, but of course detrimental to my gut and inner organs in the long term. Football, fighting, and proving myself were my main focus, and were some of the main contributors to many of my issues. I beat the crap out of my body playing football for six years, lifting weights incorrectly, getting in some intense street fights, and abusing my body with all the substance use I shared previously. While many of my young peers were turning 21 and excited to go to the bars, I was quitting drinking. We had fake ID’s since we were 18 and had been going to the bars regularly anyway. That’s some of the context for my opening sentence. 20 years old and feeling like a broken down 60 year old. All at its source unresolved family dynamics, insecurities, trauma, a lack of the proper guidance, and my own self destructive habits. I went hard in the other direction. No alcohol, no drugs, no meat, no sex, no tv, no fucking around! I went monk and didn’t even date women from the age of 21 to 24. My relationship problems are a whole nother can of worms to open up! I started meditating, training Jiu Jitsu and boxing, eating vegetarian, and reading many books on spirituality, nutrition, and self improvement. I was training six days a week and working hard to support my lifestyle of training, freedom, and buying organic food. In my 20’s I held several jobs, all with the goal to work them until I could make a good living doing my passion and purpose. Over time it was becoming more clear to me that my passion and purpose was within the healing, spiritual, and coaching arts. A couple years after I made the initial shift to a healthier way of living I began experimenting with psychedelics and eventually working with Ayahuasca. I had a number of meaningful and life changing experiences with close brothers of mine through shared psilocybin and LSD experiences. Then through my first healer and spiritual mentor Amadeo Guiao, that I met synchronistically in 2010, I was given the opportunity to join a weekend of Ayahuasca Ceremonies in Central Oregon. After seeing documentaries and many people talking about Ayahuasca I was eager to experience this mystical medicine and jumped at the opportunity. My path awakened to a new level of sincerity and focus. Ayahuasca became a profound catalyst and direct medicine for much of my healing, and freedom from the habits I had struggled to relinquish throughout my 20’s. As I had mentioned, I quit drinking, but this period of “quitting” lasted one year. To which I then went back and forth with a bit of a healthier relationship to alcohol, but nonetheless, not a great one. It was when I was 25 that I was fully able to set down alcohol, and all unhealthy substance dynamics. In order to free ourselves from unhealthy substance use, we have to heal and free ourselves from the core issues that are behind the substance use. This is what all this deep work allowed me to do. The theme and brand name Embody The Practice came to me because I had the simple realization that it was the practices that I brought into my life that changed my life. After training for a number of years in Jiu Jitsu, Yoga, Qi Gong, Meditation, Sound Healing, working with psychedelics and plant medicines, and learning from wise teachers and mentors, I understood that the purpose of all these practices was not only to be good at the practice itself. The deeper purpose of all of these practices are to bring the wisdom and benefits into our every day lives. When we Embody The Practice our practices become our Lifestyle, and this is what eventually brings us to our essential embodiment. The moment by moment direct experience and expression of the truth of who we are. In 2016 that my now wife Kelly was the catalyst for us to move to the Big Island of Hawai’i, and my life was forever changed in a new, challenging, and exciting way. It was soon after that I met my mentor Satyen Raja and the WarriorSage team. Satyen embodied the practice more than anyone I had ever met! I was deeply impacted by the all encompassing philosophy and way of being of WarriorSage, and the effective methodology of Accelerated Evolution. Over the past decade, through the facilitation of my coaching practice, and many of my own deep dive experiences, I had a number of profound experiences where the message was clear. Bring men together to heal and grow. Grow a network of good, strong, and open hearted men to help make this world a better place for us all. The Big Island Men’s Retreat is an all encompassing life transformative experience in which I share and bring together the latest evolution of all that I have learned, and many of the practices and disciplines that have made such an impact in my life. It would be our honor to have you join us and step into the initiation of your next level of embodiment.

Like the humpback whales, I’ve spent much of my adult life migrating between Alaska and Hawaii. Summers were dedicated to building and restoring hiking trails around Juneau, AK, along with kayak adventures into the remote wilderness. The warmer waters of Kealakekua, HI welcomed me back each winter to volunteer on farms and steep in nature’s abundance. These seasonal rhythms of life have been instrumental to my evolution, offering an expanded perspective and allowing me to cultivate adaptability, strength, and perseverance. In 2015, I began experiencing serious pain in my lower back while traveling in the Pacific Northwest. At first I ignored the pain, assuming it was a result of my active, nomadic lifestyle. But the pain progressed, quickly manifesting as testicular cancer and spreading to my left kidney, which forced me to stop. As someone who identifies with movement as medicine, this sudden sabotage of my wanderlusting ways was devastating. I landed on a houseboat in Portland, OR, preparing for treatment with an army of friends supporting me. Any needs or wants were provided and offered before I could ask. Friends would appear next to me while I was passed out during chemo, my favorite breakfast sandwich in hand, and sit there until I woke. My good vibes tribe, in full action. After 6 months of chemotherapy, 4 surgeries, many gallons of mushroom tincture, and a 10 day dieta with ayahuasca, I managed to defy the odds and endure. By the spring of 2016, I was returning to Hawaii to begin the long recovery process, which feels nearly complete. To me, recovery means being stronger than I was before - not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. I believe suppressed emotions were the breeding ground of my cancer, and my healing journey demanded I confront and transform both personal and ancestral patterns of wounding. This initiated a deep process of alchemy and self-inquiry, inviting me to embrace every experience as an opportunity and trust the gifts contained within each challenge. Instead of perceiving myself as an unfortunate victim in crisis, I see my journey with cancer like a rite of passage destined to reveal the indomitable spirit of the warrior within. This has provided me with a profound sense of empowerment, gratitude, and inspiration to explore what other limiting beliefs I might overcome. My experience also brought me immense lessons about vulnerability, asking for help, and letting go. These lessons have redefined the core foundation of who I am. Now, 8 years later, I see my role as a guide and ally to help others embrace their hardships and transform them into the pearls of grace they truly are. With deep reverance for the natural world I aspire to inspire communion with the mana of the Big Island utilizing wild life encounters, hikes and sound.

Eight years ago, I made a life-altering decision to leave the heat of Texas behind and returned to the lush beauty of Oregon. In that moment, my life was a tumultuous storm of depression, physical pain, and the relentless grip of stimulant addiction. Just when I thought all hope was lost, a serendipitous encounter with my now-beloved wife provided the anchor I desperately needed to embark on a transformative journey towards healing. As I bid farewell to my depression and shed an incredible 60 pounds of emotional baggage and excess weight, I embarked on a quest for profound personal and spiritual growth, determined to mend both my inner and outer self. It was on this path that I discovered the incredible power of confidence. My epiphany led me to the world of Jiu-Jitsu, a discipline that has become my steadfast companion for five years and counting. Today, I proudly wear a purple belt, a symbol of my unwavering commitment to growth and self-improvement. Having been an part of the very first Big Island Men’s Retreat, I acquired an unquenchable thirst for personal and collective growth. I’m on a mission to cultivate the kind of men that the world not only deserves but urgently needs. Together, we’ll redefine what it means to embrace healthy masculinity, bond as men, reflect on our journey, and willingly lean into the discomfort that accompanies true transformation. Join me on this extraordinary path, and let’s forge a brighter future for ourselves and those around us.